Unrealistic expectations. They are the fatal flaw in all relationships, businesses, and individuals. Alexander Pope, an 18th Century English poet, who was renowned for his satirical works of literature, best summed this with a quote: “blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed”. http://wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Pope. A healthy degree of realism is generally indicative of a high level of emotional maturity. With emotional maturity comes an ability to exercise an expanded scope of honesty, with both ourselves and others. This caliber of honesty requires tremendous courage, as the work must begin internally. This is a transparency that is both vital and necessary, in circumventing unnecessary confusion, pain, and preventable chaos in life. Strategically, this type of self-mastery can be one of the most powerful tools in your personal arsenal.

One of the more cleverly crafted marketing campaigns that I have seen in some time, involves the themes of unrealistic expectations and strategic transparency. It is an ad that involves a job posting for a Director of Operations position, as seen in this YouTube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=HB3xM93rXbY. The clip documents the video interviews of each candidate that has applied for the position. As each of the interviews progress, the interviewer becomes increasingly more transparent in his expectations for the position, and the expectations become progressively more ludicrous. The Director position requires standing up to 135 hours per week (up to an unlimited amount of time), no breaks, lunches or vacations, work on weekends, and general availability 365 days a year/7 days a week. Several multi-disciplinary degrees were required for the ideal candidate. “Meaningful connections” would be considered the reward for the work, as the job pays NOTHING! Oh, and last, but not least, must maintain a happy disposition at all times! Sounds realistic. Right??

Despite the laughable absurdity of the interviews, what struck me as the most disturbing aspect, was not the highly relatable experience of this type of interview, but the candidates’ response to the questioning. In every case, each of the interviewees seemed to be mentally bargaining with themselves, as each unrealistic expectation was presented. Each candidate appeared (for all intents and purposes) to be educated, qualified, competitive and engaged. However, each seemed to be internally negotiating, with regards to lowering their expectations, and attempting to meet completely unrealistic ones. Delusions of superhuman powers in the workplace? Or, indicators that the candidates simply had not reached a level of emotional maturity that clearly defines the boundaries of realistic & unrealistic behavior?

When it comes to realistic expectations,  attaining this level of intimate honesty with ourselves, is not easy work. It takes tremendous courage to look within, define our expectations, and know what is negotiable, and what is non-negotiable. This defines emotional maturity. Bob Goldstein of Procter & Gamble stated that “a principle isn’t a principle, until it costs you something”. Emotional maturity is costly, but the return on the investment is huge. Although difficult to quantify, Emotional Intelligence (EI) is quickly gaining traction as a qualifier in the hiring world. EI is a better predictor of success in the workplace, than standardized IQ tests, Myers-Briggs personality type inventories, or any other adapted performance predictors. It is a critical skill that cannot be taught. It is inherent and highly individualized.

Emotional maturity embodies certain characteristics. Trustworthiness, dependability, calm in crisis, loyalty, a high level of commitment, leadership abilities, and total engagement are all indications of emotional maturity. http://wikipedia.org.wiki/emotional_intelligence . Emotionally mature people tend to be acutely aware of their capabilities, and have very clear boundaries when it comes to their personal expectations. They understand the fine art of using transparency, in a strategic manner, to gain trust and solidify relationships. They are some of the most enthusiastically engaged employees you will find, in any setting. And as corporations, they are your most powerful ally and brand builder. As individuals, emotional intelligence is the employment “currency” of the future. The best investment one can ever make, is the investment in oneself!