“When we clutter our lives with imagined obligations, unnecessary activities, and distractions that only kill time, we dilute the power of our lives.” – Anne Katherine

Noise, distraction. Hurry, worry. One of the ways that distraction is defined is: ‘a mental or emotional disturbance, an obstacle to concentration.’ Worry is the symptom of this distraction. Everyone is in such a hurry. You can ask anyone how they are, and most likely they will provide you with a lengthy list of perceived ‘to-dos’. So much noise, and so little time to pause, reflect, and re-focus. Distraction is indeed a disease. An inability to quiet the mind, and tune out the noise.

As a therapist, one of the most enlightening techniques that I ever studied, was silence. Open-ended, silence. Dead air is so uncomfortable. We rush to fill the void. When listening, this babble can be rife with useful content. It provides insight into another’s thoughts, character, and even modus operandi.

In studying this technique, my appreciation for active listening (and those who are able to actively listen) developed. The ability to quiet one’s own mind, and be fully present for another, takes incredible skill. Presence is indeed, a gift. It is the ability to turn focus from action, to in-action. A person engaged in active listening has learned to meet themselves in their own uncomfortable silence, quiet their personal noise, and be fully attentive to something other than themselves. It is a level of empathic listening that cannot be taught. It must be developed.

Don’t want to believe that you are incapable of not being led by your own personal distractions and noise? Try sitting in absolute silence for fifteen minutes, or even five minutes. It will surprise you what floods your mind. So much noise. So many opportunities to be led by your own distractions. So many times we justify this need to run from distraction to distraction, out of necessity. As if not attending to the noise for a few minutes, will somehow lead to unthinkable consequences. Are you rushing from distraction to distraction as an attempt to avoid something? Distraction and busy-ness are great for allowing us to justify avoiding the truly important business of ourselves.

Only until we are able to sit quietly with our own thoughts, and attend to the reasons that we run from distraction to distraction, can we be fully present for another. This lack of action and inward focus must be practiced, in order to become a skill. One that requires intent, patience, and courage. It is not easy to sit with our own thoughts. It is so much easier to be carried away with the noise. Personal development not only requires, it demands of us, an ability to get comfortable with the un-comfortable: silence and stillness. There is much to be learned about ourselves by embracing it, and not running away with our distractions. For, “distraction is the only thing that consoles us for miseries, and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries.” – Blaine Pascal